When you move to Hawaii, it may be important to get on public assistance like 80% of Hawaiins. Because of the expense of paradise, you may need to belly up to that trough. I don't want to hear your deluded whining about self-reliance or personal values. There is medication for that, so listen up darlings.
1. You need an interesting and semi-believable victim act. IF you were in the military you can make up all sorts of things. Your boat hit a mine and you were thrown into a bulk-head, suffering brain damage. Brain damage is good because it has a bit of awe about it, and you can get away with all sorts of behavior, like hugging cute secerataries or whippig out a mj pipe during the interview to quell your pain. If U werent in the army, you can say your bike had a head-on with a suv full of crazed, laughing teen-agers.
These are just examples.The point is to interest the bureaucrat interviewing you for benefits and arouse sympathy so they can spend the public's money on you.
2. You must convince them that you are a thoroughly useless human being, never having done anything with any social value whatsoever. You might mention some pathetic activity like grooming your pet rat or playing scrabble with only four letter words. Raiding dumpsters a possibility, but its a little too ambitious, unless you mention that other dumpster divers stole your cans.
3. If the interviewer's name is Anastasia, you can say that is your favorite name and you named your kid that, etc. This is not about you, dummy, or your pathetic life. The bureaucat has a boring job, and you should make him feell good. You are there to be an amusing clown in the new state. Just dont be too silly about it, until you mention the brain damage, then anything goes.
So that's it. Forget your pathetic attempts to do something, as we dont want to hear your ridiculous efforts to do anything. That kind of ambition makes us look bad and just who do you think you are? You can do prostitution or dealing later, but I don't want to hear that you are useful, unless it was before the brain damage.
j.
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